在美国成长、读医及找医生工作的一些个人经历

楼主:supertitan2013 字数:238266字 评论数:2637条评论 帖子来源:天涯  访问原帖
@人间处处有胖神 2018-11-28 07:13:43
楼主,怎么不更啦?
说说你对基因编辑的看法吧,当下的热点。
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谢谢关注。我儿子尽管有不少新发展,感到现在已进入平稳发展阶段,我也不象以前那么激动了。他的周六“值班”已经上了好几次了,才发现其实每次的收入有四千五百美元。他感到周六“值班”对拓展他的病员库也会有帮助,打算每月两次并一直坚持下去。最近医院给他在旁边的一个癌症中心又增添了一个新办公室,主要目的也是增加知名度及扩充病员库。州里的一些医学协会举行年会什么的也会邀请他去作学术报告,估计也是医院推荐。这些应该都是单位对年轻人培养的一些常规或非常规措施。感觉我儿子现在的精神状况很好。联想起了古人“春风得意马蹄疾”的成功、愉快心情。
supertitan20132018-11-29 00:27:32 发布在 海外华人
关于基因编辑从科学技术角度来讲,我不是专家。但据说美国在这方面的论文及专利有很多,应该是相对成熟的内容。所以这次国内的这一事件的发生并非是科学或技术上的突破。它只是伦理上的突破。也就是说,其实美国人或美国的科学家知道怎么做但没人去做这一科学实验。
在美国从事科学工作一般都首先要申请科研基金,有了钱才能进行研究,才能开展工作。科研基金申请的常规步骤中就会先问到该科研项目是否可能涉及到环境、伦理、法律等几个重要方面。一旦(打钩)涉及,则就会对所涉及到内容的一系列细项进行仔细的评估。自然,某科研项目若一开始就知道会违反环境或伦理方面的现有条例,或会对现有环境或伦理方面的认知引起极大的争议,则项目申请人、申请单位、资助单位等多半就不会立项。没了钱,也就没了这方面的研究或及实施了。
supertitan20132018-11-29 00:30:15 发布在 海外华人
我在前面的41楼曾提到:“每年的春季,许多家长都会带着子女参观一些子女感兴趣或将来可能会申请或已经申请或被录用的校园,也带有些旅游的性质。”我儿子是2005年秋季入学的。但对于各校园的参观那是从2003年就开始了。2003-2004年的春夏季先是参观可能感兴趣的许多校园,之后2005年就主要是(再)参观收到入取通知的一些校园。回想起来,就参观校园这一活动其实也是家长对小孩培养过程中的一项挺大的投入。前两天在隔壁部落的一个帖子让我回想起了我在2003年夏天带我儿子参观哈佛大学校园的一些经历。下面的一篇关于哈佛大学图书馆的英语散文就是在那次参观之后写的:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A story about Harvard University library

Harvard University was founded in 1636. It is the oldest and also considered the best university in USA. Among many possible reasons that make it the best, Harvard University only admits a fixed, small number (1650) of new freshman students each year. [Many universities in China consider the increase of freshman students each year as a measure of improvement in quality/reputation.] The following story may tell us something else why the university is good.

Harvard University has the second largest library (system) in USA (next to the Library of Congress). The establishment of Harvard University in 1636 was not related to Harvard. However, a rich guy named John Harvard died in 1638 and he donated all the books and manuscripts he collected to the university. As a result, the university had its first library. The university also had its name: Harvard University. That first university library was in a building named “Harvard Hall”.

At that time, library books were not allowed to be checked out by either professors or students. Readers had to stay in the library to read and to make notes.

Harvard Hall caught a big fire in 1764. Everything in the building was burned to ashes. Harvard University lost its first library. Harvard University lost all the books of its first library ....... Harvard University also lost all the portraits of John Harvard that were kept in the university library. It had been more than 125 years since John Harvard died. Nobody knew how John Harvard looked like when the university decided to erect a statue for John Harvard because all his portraits had been burned with the library books. Therefore, the current statue standing in Harvard University campus had nothing to do with John Harvard but is only a symbol of him.

Harvard University lost all the books of its first library except one. There was one book escaped such a tragedy. At the day of that fire, a student took a book from the library to his dormitory to read it overnight because he was going to have the final examination in the following day and really had to finish reading that book. A day after the big fire, the student brought that book to the University president and explained to the president how that book was escaped from the fire. The university president said: Thank you, thank you so much for saving the only book left for the university library. But you are also expelled from the university for you have violated the university rule.

The student was expelled from the Harvard University. An artifact of that book is still in display in one of the Harvard University libraries.

(2003.08.04)

supertitan20132018-11-30 04:34:31 发布在 海外华人
@好满足 2018-11-30 07:16:03
从楼主帖子里了解到不少信息,楼主能介绍下在美国如何找到好医生吗?在国内一般是选三甲医院的医生,但是国外看病都是私人诊所,有没有好的网评网站呢?还是要去找相关疾病发表的论文?
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我们在美国生活三十多年来还没有遇到过非要找到特别的好医生才能治疗的疾病。一般的家庭都有家庭医生,包括内科(及儿科)医生,牙医,眼科医生。这些家庭医生负责定期的身体检查。身体有问题也是先联系咨询这些家庭医生。这些家庭医生的选取一般是根据朋友、单位(同事)的介绍,也与单位医疗保险挂钩的医生库相关。除了这些家庭医生之外,我儿子从来没生过什么病而需要看其他的医生。我妻子就是生我儿子时在医院住过两天,之后也从没生病需住院看医生什么的。我自己得过一次肾结石,我自己的家庭(内科)医生介绍了一个尿泌科医生,一次的预约、诊断、吃药就全解决了。
一些私人诊所的医生也都与一些大医院挂钩的。我儿子现在也就是这样的情况。我妻子怀孕时我正在读研究生,听人推荐一家很好的产科医院。打电话给医院之后医院就推荐了该医院的一个产科医生。那产科医生有自己的诊所,平时的产检都在她的诊所进行,直到生产的那一天才直接去了医院并打电话告诉了她。她也马上赶到医院。我记得为了熟悉开车路径,我在产前还专门从家到医院开了两个来回。
看来比较适当的方法还是先找一些比较大的知名的医院,再让医院作推荐。现在网上一般也能查医院内各医生的简历。应该不用专门去找相关疾病发表的论文。我曾试着读我儿子发表的一篇医学论文,一大堆医学名词,基本看不懂,呵呵。
supertitan20132018-12-01 00:26:48 发布在 海外华人
我儿子的基本医学专业是麻醉(anesthesia),他的进一步专长是病痛处理(pain management)。儿子说又收到并接受了州律师协会的一个邀请,让他给州里的诉讼律师作一个讲座,介绍“病痛处理”方面的基本知识及最新的一些进展。那些诉讼律师经常会有一些身体受伤的客户。因伤痛而引起的赔偿自然与伤痛的程度相关了。到底是大伤痛,小伤痛还是可能的假伤痛其实应该从医学的角度(而并不仅仅根据客户自己的描述)来介定会更客观和有说服力。他说这一讲座应该非常有利于他未来病员库的扩充。那些律师会倾向于把自己的受伤客户介绍到我儿子那里去,呵呵。
supertitan20132018-12-03 05:20:21 发布在 海外华人
@人间处处有胖神 2018-12-03 08:43:04
专业人士其实也需要像个business man一样的运作。
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在美国赢利机构与非赢利机构工作的性质有很大的区别。我在一楼介绍我儿子最终决定去私人诊所而不是名校医学院工作的原因之一就是在赢利机构的私人诊所中工作,他的收入就有很大的弹性。自然,平常工作及其安排也就会多一些与商业赢利有关的考虑。
相反,对于美国政府部门工作的政府公务员以及在非赢利单位工作的人员(如大学教授),原则上不可赚取工资以外的额外收入。比如说美国总统就是政府公务员,他的工资也就是每年40万美元左右。美国总统布什(父子)家族算是有一定家底的富豪。故尽管当了美国总统之后收入减少了,对他们的家庭财务不会有什么影响。克林顿同奥巴马这两位美国总统则都是平民出身。他们都是凭着自己的个人奋斗而在很年轻的时候就成为美国总统的。特别是,他们在当选为总统之前也一点都不富有(并非平民变土豪再成为总统的路子)。克林顿当选为总统之前是阿肯色州(美国南部一小穷州)的州长。进入白宫之后若正常生活的话应该也会过得去。但后来克林顿同白宫实习生莱文斯基发生了不正当的男女关系(闻名于世的丑闻)。为处理此事他花费了极大量的律师费用,从而导致了他退休时欠了许多债,红颜祸水啊!退休之后,克林顿就不再是政府公务员了。他就可到处作演讲(记得读到有次演讲的报酬就是一百万美元)以及出书正当赚钱还债。不久前读到一则新闻。有一在美国海洋大气局工作的华裔研究人员(是货真价实的政府公务员)因为同时也在中国工作并尤其是也一直在中国同时领取工资被开除、起诉并判刑了。有人可能会联想他被判刑是因为他是为中国政府工作。但实际上从法律的角度来讲,在美国,政府公务员长期领取第三方的工资确实是违法行为。
supertitan20132018-12-04 02:06:05 发布在 海外华人
@abcd20092011AB 2018-12-05 07:24:58
美国大学教授是可以办公司或参加公司的经营活动的。
不过我知道的这些教授都是私立大学的。
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在我上面的叙述中用了“原则上”一词。不少情形需具体分析。比如,大学文科专业(如英语系)的教授工资很低。他们写小说、散文获得的稿酬则主要就归自己的收入了。关键要点是办公司等的经营活动所需的资源(专利、资料、工具等)源自何处?美国私立大学的不少科研项目也是政府资助的,那是纳税人的钱,由之衍生出的成果或结果原则上也属于纳税人(及学校)。此外,通常若学校也参与到公司的创办过程中去,则一般不会有法律问题。也还存在另一可能:有人到美国短期旅游,看到好几个人开(跑)车超快,感到很危险,但从没看到警察给人开罚款单,就认为在美国开车是没有限速这一法规的,开跑车是可以任意超速的。
supertitan20132018-12-05 10:29:52 发布在 海外华人

我在这一帖子前面的66楼中在说到宗教的时候提到了“科学和艺术”。一般认为“科学和艺术”概括了人类的全部智慧,应该是人类社会中相互相存的两个重要的方面。但在日常的生活中,科学家同艺术家之间就象理科生同文科生之间那样常常会有说不清,道不明,剪不断,理还乱的争辩。我自己是个科学工作者,实际生活中及尤其在网上自然也常常会同一些文科生们产生一些争辩或交流。最近说到的一个题目是说艺术家及哲学家们其实有着两个完全相通的世界:现实(真实)世界和虚拟(想象)世界。纯粹是为了灌水的目的,为了这科学家与艺术家及相关的两个世界,我昨天写了如下的散文:

On Scientists vs Artists

It is a truth universally acknowledged that scientists and artists frequently debate on the subject of science vs art. They often cannot get along with each other very well because they have fundamentally different views on the world. One famous example was the view on the beauty of a flower by the physicist Richard Feynman who was the Nobel Prize recipient. He once said the following quotes that were widely cited to describe the shallowness of artists (Feynman 1988, p. 11):

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I have a friend who’s an artist and has sometimes taken a view which I don’t agree with very well. He’ll hold up a flower and say "look how beautiful it is," and I’ll agree. But then he’ll say "I as an artist can see how beautiful this is but you as a scientist take this all apart and it becomes a dull thing." I think that he’s kind of nutty.
First of all, the beauty that he sees is available to other people and to me too, I believe. Although I might not be quite as refined aesthetically as he is, I can appreciate the beauty of a flower. But at the same time, I see much more about the flower than he sees. I can imagine the cells inside, which also have a beauty. There’s beauty not just at the dimension of one centimeter; there is also beauty at a smaller dimension.
There are the complicated actions of the cells, and other processes. The fact that the colors in the flower have evolved in order to attract insects to pollinate it is interesting; that means that insects can see the color. That adds a question: does this aesthetic sense we have also exist in lower forms of life? There are all kinds of interesting questions that come from a knowledge of science, which only adds to the excitement and mystery and awe of a flower. It only adds. I don't understand how it subtracts.

Reference:
Feynman, R. P., 1988: “What Do You Care What Other People Think?” Further Adventures of a Curious Character. Penguin Books Canada Ltd, Ontario, 255 pp.
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In my opinion, Richard Feynman did not fully understand artists and thus his view on artists was thus incomplete. It is generally believed that there are often two different kinds of world in the mind of an artist: a realistic world and an imaginary world. In each of those two worlds there must be different aspects of beauty that can be appreciated. What Richard Feynman demonstrated in his quotes was that a scientist generally was able to appreciate more aspects of beauty of a flower than an artist in the realistic world that can be seen and exists. However, he totally missed the imaginary world in which various aspects of beauty can further be greatly appreciated in the mind of an artist. In other words, Richard Feynman missed one half of the whole beauty of a flower that can only be appreciated by an artist who is able to live not only in a realistic world but also in an imaginary world. :)
supertitan20132018-12-07 07:13:28 发布在 海外华人

上面的帖子昨天发在了《英语杂谈》版上。胖神MM看到了我昨天的帖子之后就作了如下的回复:

Not really, how do you know that scientists do not have an imaginary world? You cannot just classify them by their occupation. Imagining, creating skills are essential for making scientific breakthrough. You cannot determine whose imaginary world is more valuable. If Feynman's imagination about inside cells of flower is incomplete then the artist's imagination of the flower is the same. Anyway, maybe scientists are able to imagine something not related to the realistic world as well.

但后来《英语杂谈》的版主(应该是文科生吧,呵呵)把我的帖子连同胖神的回复隐藏了。我就在这里作一简单回答吧:胖神说的很有道理,科学家有时也会在他们的虚拟世界中思考问题。其实,艺术家或文科生偶尔也会用科学的方法对现实世界进行非常科学化的观察和研究并得出科学的结论。但总体上来讲或从常规正常的角度来分析或即从系统性的方法论来说,科学家总是研究真实的现实世界(那肉眼看不见的细胞也是真实世界)。在下一个发在专业论坛的帖子的83和84楼,我还列举了两个例子来说明这一重要区别:
http://www.cfluid.com/thread-144983-6-1.html
supertitan20132018-12-07 07:20:00 发布在 海外华人
@雨季1430 2018-12-07 12:17:12
中国的医生,有优良的教育,又天天接触大量的病人,临床经验上应该超过一般国家。所以医术水准不一定低。
但是,中国医生看病时不仅仅想怎么医疗,还要考虑怎么增加收入,奖金。一般会使用一系列的检查(据说中国一个县的B超机就能超过伦敦。)然后,开处方的时候还要权衡开哪种药提成高。输液一般比药片利润大,所以我们输液量普遍而巨大,医生们一般更会巧妙地开的无关紧要的中药增加处方金额。
开西药+中药已经成为医生开药的一种常态。......
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美国的政府公务员,大学以及研究单位的教授、科研人员(及医院的医生)等,他们的唯一或主要收入就是单位发给他们的工资。但是在中国,据说这类人除了工资收入之外还有很大一部分的所谓“灰色收入”。在不少情况下,“灰色收入”还高于工资收入。上面所列的这些人员应该属于一个社会的精英。一个相对清廉的社会精英群体自然而然地就会产生一个相对和谐的社会。
supertitan20132018-12-07 21:36:42 发布在 海外华人
@abcd20092011AB 2018-12-05 07:24:58
美国大学教授是可以办公司或参加公司的经营活动的。
不过我知道的这些教授都是私立大学的。
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@supertitan2013 2018-12-05 10:29:52在我上面的叙述中用了“原则上”一词。不少情形需具体分析。比如,大学文科专业(如英语系)的教授工资很低。他们写小说、散文获得的稿酬则主要就归自己的收入了。关键要点是办公司等的经营活动所需的资源(专利、资料、工具等)源自何处?美国私立大学的不少科研项目也是政府资助的,那是纳税人的钱,由之衍生出的成果或结果原则上也属于纳税人(及学校)。此外,通常若学校也参与到公司的创办过程中去,则一般不会有法律问题。也还存在另一可能:有人到美国短期旅游,看到好几个人开(跑)车超快,感到很危险,但从没看到警察给人开罚款单,就认为在美国开车是没有限速这一法规的,开跑车是可以任意超速的。
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说一说关于信笺的规则。现在大家一般的通讯都是用电子邮件。以前是要用到信笺的。有不少单位(大学、研究所等)都会有(特殊字体)印上本单位名称和地址的现成空白信笺。按规定,那些信笺只可用于公事,个人的私事或私人通讯是不能使用那些信笺(及信封)的。这条规定倒不是为了省钱什么的,主要是从法律的角度来讲,单位的名头是不能乱借用的。记得我工作的单位以前就发过好几次电邮提醒大家这一关于公私分明的规则。
举一个例子来说明一下这条规则所隐含的法律后果。假若某大学的一个知名教授在校外开了一个公司。那个公司主要是从事比特币的开发和投资。除非有人能明确证明那个教授的科研项目同比特币的投资有着直接的联系,那个教授开公司及参加公司的经营活动就无可厚非。这过程中,许多投资人根据那个教授以及他大学的名声给予那教授很大的投资。这一事实本身也很难证明那教授自己主观上在借用学校及自己的专业资源在赢利,毕竟那是其他人在做的事。但是如果那教授在同他人商讨投资事项的通讯及交流中用到了印着本单位名称的信笺,则在法律上就构成了借用大学资源谋取个人赢利的事实。
supertitan20132018-12-08 00:35:21 发布在 海外华人
@人间处处有胖神 2018-12-10 06:45:08
华为估计和中兴干的事差不多,估计罚款制裁少不了。
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估计是差不多吧。在中国当时(前几年)的大环境下,若有公司明知可干而不干的话,应该是相当反常的公司。这也类似于在上面124楼所讨论到的关于“灰色收入”的现象。在能收、可以收的大环境下,谁要是非要清高而不收(不腐败)的话,则反而被认为是“装”的、是“假”的了。“假作真时真亦假,无为有处有还无。”

我在上面113楼又重发了一篇关于哈佛大学图书馆的帖子。该帖子当年是发在我的沪江博客(现已关闭)上的。由于该帖子的主题思想是想说明“诚信”在一个好大学中所起的作用,故在后来的跟帖中就有例子说明在国内大学认为是无所谓的抄袭小事,在国外大学则被认为是“舞弊”大事。这里再转发一下该跟帖给大家作参考吧!

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杜克大学富科商学院重大学生舞弊案件

Eric (2007年)

杜克大学富科(FUQUA)商学院四月底宣布结束长达两个月的对三十八个一年级MBA学生舞弊行为的调查。调查结果:九名学生将面临被开除的厄运,十五名学生被停学一年,十名学生这门课必修课记为零分,四名无罪。这是杜克富科商学院建校三十余年以来最大的丑闻,也是北美商学院十年来绝无仅有的重大学生舞弊案件。

鉴于美国联邦隐私权保护条例,学校不会公布学生的种族和名单。但据知情人士透露,有十三名中国学生将受到严厉处分:八名开除,五名停学。另外还有将近十名被警告加重修这门功课。事件起源于三月初的一门决策模型必修课程。学生可以把考试带回家去做,但整个案例必须独自完成。学生最后还得把他们的EXCEL模型通过网上提交。在评卷过程中老师发现不少答案有惊人的相似之处。初步调查没有结果:虽然证据明显,却没有人承认有任何的抄袭行为。中国学生的抵赖行为迫使教授把平时的作业也调出来,发现了更多的作弊证据。

在确凿的证据和教授的严厉讯问下,学生们终于被迫承认是聚集在一起互相抄袭或合作。调查委员会对学生进行了为期将近一个月的质询,最终于四月中旬决定对二十多名中国学生提出正式起诉。四月二十八号上午十一点,学校官方通过电子邮件向所有商学院学生宣布了庭审结果。富科商学院正副院长在宣布当天下午就此事举行内部新闻发布会回答学生问题。一时间,愤怒,失望,和谩骂充斥了整个校园。

大多数美国和国际学生都觉得学校给予的处分太轻。事值2007届学生即将毕业之际,喜庆的校园登时蒙上了一层浓厚的阴霭。有的学生要求公布案情细节,希望明白为什么有人的处分仅仅是把功课降为零分而已。为了显示学校对学术道德的重视,校方主动新闻媒体发布此事。CNN教育版,华尔街日报,和商务周刊在近几天都对这次丑闻有所报导。对于所有的中国学生来说,这样的结果却是大大的出乎意料。毕竟,大多数富科的中国学生没有过任何的在美国学习和工作过的经验,以为这件事情学校会轻描淡写地掩盖过去。处分结果下来后,十几个受处分的学生跑到院长办公厅门口去静坐示威。有一位受处分的中国学生在宣布会还散发了这样的传单:停学?开除?我们花钱要的是教育,而不是惩罚!学生们还积极寻找校友,舆论和律师来给学校施加压力,以期能得到轻点的处罚。中国学生诸如此类的不理智行为引起了校园社区的巨大反感。除了律师为赚取佣金答应帮忙以外,舆论导向对中国颇为不利。学校数年来第一次调用了数名警察在学生活动中心进行巡逻以防不测。

富科商学院自从在2001年以最年轻的知名商学院身份晋身商务周刊全美排名第五,创造了北美商学教育的一大奇迹以后,最近几年排名低迷不振,在最近的一次USNEWS排名中,仅被排为第十二名。这次事件对于这年轻的学院来说或是一起重大的打击,或是重塑形象的一个契机。

富科商学院集体舞弊事件受处分的中国学生列表
二十二个中国学生被调查,八个开除,五个停学,六个被罚重修,一个无罪,两个未详。
Yu Cheng 开除
Yu (Harry) Huang 开除
Hua (Dianthe) Jin 开除
Shen Lu 开除
Jun (Kevin) Qin 开除
Degang (Kendall) Shen 开除
Dan (Chelsea) Wei 开除
Hua (Stella) Zhang 开除
Hanlan (Angela) Fu 停学一年
Wei (Vealla) Sun 停学一年
Jingxiu (Kane) Zhang 停学一年
Lin Zheng 停学一年
Pingfan (Elle) Zhou 停学一年
Di Wu 重修课程
Qian (Harry) Wang 重修课程
Chunning (Christine) Yang 重修课程
Yong Yang 重修课程
Jizhi (Justin) Yao 重修课程
Hongmiao (Hugo) Zhao 重修课程

按:富科商学院2008届总共有二十八名中国学生,占所有一年级学生人数的百分之七。

(XYS20070504)
***新语丝(www.xys.org)(xys.dxiong.com)(xys.3322.org)(xys.xlogit.com)***
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supertitan20132018-12-10 08:15:28 发布在 海外华人
说到生孩子,曾经发过一篇关于结婚、组建家庭、生孩子的博文,引起了长时间热烈的讨论。在此再转发一下:
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Go, get married, now!
(1) In addition to love, there are responsibilities involved in a marriage. Both the personal and societal responsibilities bonded by a marriage are legal. There are different aspects of pros and cons on the marriage responsibilities. Overall, responsibilities are beneficial to both parties unless one party is extremely rich.
(2) If you decide to have child(ren) right after marriage you will soon experience and enjoy another very important aspect of one’s life. One’s life is incomplete without experiencing growing up with his/her child(ren) together. Earlier marriage brings not only an earlier enjoyment of such a very special aspect of life but also a definitely longer one.
(3) No love lasts forever. Therefore, it is worth considering to grasp it, use it and convert it (into a marriage) before it is gone. People sometimes say: “marriage is a tomb of love”. The word “tomb” is clearly too pessimistic. An appropriate word should be “conversion”. Marriage can convert one kind/style of love into a different one.
(4) Go, get married, now!
(2005.05.27)
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后续讨论中我还提到了婚姻与财务投资的联系:
In a broad sense, marriage is very similar to financial investment. It requires both the effort and luck with the best or a good outcome not always guaranteed. It demands long-term patience to see a significant result. It needs to look at the overall portfolio rather than individual fund performance, i.e., individual merits or shortcomings. It also craves for constant nurturing or attention to make necessary adjustments to the overall portfolio.
And finally, we come to the major point of this advice: an earlier investment usually brings better or more opportunities. Your reward will be tremendous if you succeed in an earlier investment. Well, you get another or more chances if you are unlucky and failed initially. :P
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关于婚姻与生活幸福的关系:
Mini:不是为了结婚而结婚,而是两个人在一起比一个人更幸福才结婚
Me: Mini, I agree with you and, in fact, you will also find that your view is in complete agreement with my view on this issue once you give more thoughts on the meaning of “幸福”. The happiness and the fulfillment of one’s life or the couple’s life cannot always be described abstractly but must be felt and measured by daily activities. If the marriage can help the couple both to realize their goals and dreams they should feel happy. If the marriage can bring the couple new enjoyment of life (say, growing up with their child) they should feel happy again. Of course, there are many more that will bring happiness to you through marriage and you will not be able to know and learn those until you get married.
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婚姻生活中“情”与“勤”的关系:勤到深处,由勤生情。情到深处,由情生勤。
At old times, people’s marriages were usually arranged by their parents. At that time, most girls were well trained and good at diligence (勤) such as cooking nice meals, washing and ironing clothing, etc. before their marriages. Girls had no passion (情) to their future husbands before their marriages because they had no idea what their husbands looked like before getting married. However, the girls’ good diligence of taking a good care of their husbands helped them to build good families, earn their respects, and finally develop passion with their husbands (勤到深处,由勤生情)。
Nowadays, many girls are spoiled by their parents and they usually do not know how to cook good meals or how to clean house, etc. before their marriages. They often emotionally think about passion, such as how to use a drop of water to change a pair of eyes into a blue sky, etc. before their marriages. Many girls are getting married now solely based on passion, deep passion, or deeply passionate love. After getting married, some of the girls find their husbands better than they originally expected. So, they are determined to build a good family with even greater passion and they start to learn how to cook good meals, how to ...... etc. (情到深处,由情生勤)。
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supertitan20132018-12-10 11:48:54 发布在 海外华人
又,关于婚姻、家庭的课题,其实我来天涯论坛之后发的第一个原创帖子就是说的如何找到如意对象的一些计策或注意事项。这里再给出一个链接供参考:

http://bbs.tianya.cn/post-english-215477-1.shtml
How to Turn Your Good Boyfriend into Husband (or)
How to Keep Your Good Husband Away from Mistress (小三)
http://bbs.tianya.cn/post-english-215477-1.shtml
supertitan20132018-12-12 11:43:14 发布在 海外华人
在上面113楼说到2003年开始带儿子参观大学校园及准备考大学之事。当时还发了一个帖子介绍美国高中教育及考大学的一些基本情况:
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USA high school education
In USA, there are many examples that students get perfect scores in their college entrance exams and yet are declined by top universities.
Generally speaking, the college entrance exams only weight 1/3 (to less than 1/2) of the decision making whether students will be admitted by top universities. The rest are generally composed as follows:
The average grades of the entire high school study will weight additional 1/3. The high school grades often consist of large portions of essay writing, (science) report writing, experiments, group projects, etc. In other words, the high school curricula are not designed solely for the college entrance exams.
The rest 1/3 mainly consist of the extra curriculum activities such as sports, music and arts, or community service, or special talent in one particular field such as math, biology, etc.
The last two parts contain certain subjectivity (rather than objectivity), which makes them difficult to be implemented in some countries. In USA, transcripts from high schools AND recommendation letters from high school teachers carry the integrity and reputation of the high schools and teachers (and therefore can be trusted). Also, most students admitted by top universities will be interviewed by the personnel from the University admission office and/or the university alumni spread around the country. In other words, each and every freshman student admitted by top universities will generally be carefully examined and weighted from different aspects.
USA high school students are also very busy (they are often the busiest group in a family) except that, perhaps, they are busy in a different style. They usually do not hate their studies and school activities.
(2003.09.20)
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supertitan20132018-12-16 00:59:30 发布在 海外华人
之后,针对上述帖子有些后续讨论,其中我认为挺有意思的是如下的两个回帖:

Hxong(2003/11/25 04:39am):
我本人现在身在一所美国大学就读硕士,至少到目前为止,没看出美国学生和过去我看到的校友有什么本质的区别。就发现总体而言,学风可以说是比中国国内的一般大学要强些。
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stream(2003/11/25 07:07am):
从hxong兄的观点所体现的:“学风可以说是比中国国内的一般大学要强些”却不认为“有什么本质的区别”恰恰说明了中国和美国大学教育体制以及在此体制之下培育出学生的本质的区别。
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supertitan20132018-12-16 01:04:42 发布在 海外华人
今天是圣诞节假日,发一个多年前写的关于“偶遇”的旧帖:

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Encounter with two gals at 上外

Many people know the following story of Albert Einstein (爱因斯坦) encountering with a group of youngsters:
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Toward the end of his life, when Einstein was asked to explain his law of relativity to a group of young students, he said: "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it's two hours. That is relativity."
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Let me tell a story about gals and relativity. I was once in a foreign language institute for a short period where most students were females and had little training in science. Once, while waiting on a long line for (buying) the lunch, I saw two girls in dining hall trying to weigh themselves. One said: it appears that I am losing some weight these days. The other said: you should not be in a squatting position while weighing yourself, which makes you lighter. You had better stand up and let me read the scale for you.

I then explained to them that there was no difference in weight regardless how their posture was. ............ then they asked me to explain to them the physical meaning of the above paragraph on the relativity after they learnt that I was very good at math and physics and was also interested in Einstein's relativity. I said, that paragraph was only a humor, a joke, or a story for making fun. No, no, they said. They insisted that that paragraph was the physics, the philosophy, and a great thought. Why? Because that paragraph was excerpted from an article they were studying. The title of that article was: "Simple Habits, Deep Thought" taken from "American Men of Science and Invention" (Did you note the words "Thought" and "Science" here?). Furthermore, the paragraph after the above one started as follows:

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Einstein had an effect on science and history that only a few men have ever achieved. An American university president once commented: "Einstein has created a new outlook, a new view of the universe. It may be some generations before the average mind grasps the identity of time and space and so on ......"
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They said that both paragraphs look like philosophy, sound like philosophy, and therefore it must be philosophy. It is generally believed that philosophy only needs dialectic/quibbling arguments [such as "a white horse is not a horse”, “nothing leads to one, one leads to two, two leads to three,......", etc.] but not a serious math-physics deliberation or proof. I really did not want to hurt their feelings (they look nice too) and, most importantly, the line was getting shorter and it was my turn to get my lunch. Therefore, I said: "THAT IS REALLY VERY INTERESTING!"

(2003.08.20)
supertitan20132018-12-25 23:10:08 发布在 海外华人
@supertitan2013 2018-12-25 23:10:08
今天是圣诞节假日,发一个多年前写的关于“偶遇”的旧帖:
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Encounter with two gals at 上外
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“上外”是指上海外国语学院。我当时在那儿呆了三个月是为出国外语培训。记得那时的学生食堂的一面墙上有一排小窗口卖饭。但中午吃饭时每个窗口都排有一长队,一直排到食堂的另一面墙。那另一面墙的墙角就有一座秤,排队时一些女生就会去那秤上称一下体重。有次在秤体重时一个女学生就说:“哎!我的体重又减了呢!”结果旁边另一女学生就说:“你那是蹲着称了,体重当然减了。你站起来称,我来帮你看体重。”接着就是我的插话,......,呵呵。
supertitan20132018-12-26 08:07:18 发布在 海外华人
上面117楼所述有关克林顿同白宫实习生莱文斯基发生关系之事发生在当时的美国政府关门期间。美国政府至今为止最长的一次关门是在克林顿当总统时,当时关了21天。克林顿当时就是在政府关门时,在白宫闲着就同白宫实习生莱文斯基发生了不正当的男女关系,后来导致了闻名于世的丑闻并引发了美国总统的弹劾过程这一历史大事件。这次特朗普总统当政,至今为止,部分美国政府已经关门14天。看架势,这次关门时间很有可能会超过那次历史记录。不知最后是否也会引发出什么历史大事件来。
supertitan20132019-01-05 23:52:31 发布在 海外华人
@abcd20092011AB

美国政府公务员各级别的工资差异并不是很大,也比私企单位或不少专业人员(如医生、律师、高科技公司员工等)的工资低,甚至低很多。这与美国的政治体制及政府公务员的任用及功能有很大关系。比如说,各部部长、副部长及政府许多部门的各级官员的任免基本上也就是总统说了算(都算总统的内阁成员,为总统及美国人民办事)。我来说两个例子。
例子一:华裔美国人赵小兰是美国的现任交通部长,她在小布什当总统期间出任美国的劳工部长,在老布什当总统期间则出任美国的交通部副部长。她当部长主要也还是因为她老公是参议院共和党领袖,故只要是共和党总统她就可被总统任命为部长或副部长。美国的部长们不需要经过从下到上的一级一级考核、升迁过程。
例子二:我儿子医学院毕业后、开始住院医生工作前的那一个夏天,同他中学的一个(白人男)好同学一起去欧洲(驾车)旅游两周。那同学高中毕业后去了不同的大学,上了不同的医学院,又被不同的名牌大学医学院入取了住院医生(那同学去了宾夕法尼亚大学University of Pennsylvania)。在欧洲的旅游途中,他们就顺道拜访了那同学的叔叔,他是美国驻欧洲某国的大使。那天晚上使馆刚好有招待宴会,我儿子与他同学也被盛情邀请(还专门借给了他们西装、领结等)。那同学的叔叔非常自豪有这两位贵客也来参加宴会:那可是美国名牌大学医院的医生啊!这可是千军万马争闯独木桥的骄骄者啊!这可比他的那个大使强多了。那大使原来是一个卖汽车的车行老板。在欧巴马(Obama)竞选美国总统期间,他全力支持并真金实银地捐款了20多万美元来支持欧巴马竞选。欧巴马当选为美国总统之后,除了政府各部部长之外,各国大使也都由他来(重新)指派。同学叔叔也算是竞选有功之人。他就去了欧洲那国做大使,过过做政府公务员的瘾。据他们了解说,美国各大使馆的一些具体的实际对外事务,主要还是由副大使负责,副大使们不常替换。
supertitan20132019-01-07 12:39:03 发布在 海外华人